March 1st

Well, I hit another little road block. I’ve had some panic attacks and freakouts and I basically broke down and binged. I was up on the scale for a few days but I’m hoping that by tomorrow or the day after I’ll be back in the 206-es. I don’t even want to think about what I weigh right now. I had a subway and a Starbucks today so I’ll most likely gain. Not cool at all. I’ll have to be really diligent these next few days at home.

I had my first day at the ADTP on Wednesday and had a pretty good day actually. A little awkward and tense, especially since phones are banned, but I managed. We even went on a little field trip and I survived. I’m quite proud of myself. I get along well with the girls (the rude one really likes me, thank goodness) and everyone was really super about carrying my books and everything. And it’s also helpful being away from home so I’m not tempted to binge when I eat. Apparently I can’t eat food on the main floor at all or I binge big time.

I had a dream last night that I was 195 and I was so happy, so I’m motivated again – at least right now. I’m so-close-yet-so-far from the 200 mark. I just want to hurry up and get there. I can’t handle this overweightness anymore. On the plus side, I figured out some good exercises with the help of my mum that I can do while sitting around on the couch – especially helpful since I have my ankle injury right now. I felt the burn after doing them and it’s at least some form of exercise.

Well, I don’t have much else to report. This is going to be a boring few days of dieting and sitting around the house. Two days down, two more to go. Have a good weekend everyone!

– West Coast Girlfriend

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